just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
