Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize