Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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