my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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