Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
