It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
