Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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