Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
