like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
