Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
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just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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