You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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