There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
