i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
did i just pee glitter
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
