Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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