And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
