last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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