we're blogging at a bar
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
