Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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