Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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