how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
