last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
