I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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