batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
