I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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