Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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