Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
