the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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