we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The uberlube is also flammable
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
