For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
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Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
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Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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