I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize