dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
