Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
