is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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