your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
