1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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