God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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