i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize