BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
