this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
