I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right