At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.