An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.