When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
