So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
