just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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