omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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