jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need to stop coming to work sober
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
