U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
