I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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