ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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