Apparently you make a good broom.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
