I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
