Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize