oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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