In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
