Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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