yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
